I Found Angels Today

Today as I began my day I decided to fast for a matter. It's been a long time since my last fasting and I quite doubt myself whether I can make it or not.
Anyhow, I found myself left behind by a bus that I should take to my workplace. I ran to get that bus among the cars that ran fast that didn't care enough that they might hurt a girl like me that try hard to get into the bus. To them I might seem crazy to chase a running bus. But to me, this is a matter of 'dead' or 'alive' or let say, a matter of being late and miss my class or not.
And suddenly in the midst of my effort to chase that bus, an 'angel' appeared to me. No, it wasn't a white robed person with wings and golden ring upon it's head.
In fact, it , or lets say, he, is a middle aged man that ride a motorbike. At first I didn't understand why he ran his bike slowly near me, but then he stopped and said, "Wanna ride to the front of the bus?"
I smiled and hopped into his bike. He drove fastly and succeded to reached the bus and stopped in front of it, and made it stopped. I'm very grateful at the moment and I tap his shoulder and said, "Thanks a lot Sir, GOD bless you so much!"
I hopped into the bus and sat safely in the seat. Gee, I never experience this kind of experience witha total staranger. I even didn't think I WILL DO THAT! I mean, jumped to a stranger's bike that offered me a free ride to get a bus. Man! I'm so lucky! While my trip to my office I kept thinking about this matter and thanked GOD so many times for this rare experience.

The second angel that I met today was Miss Jacqueline. She is a nice woman that worked in the administration office in my school. She offered to typed for me the test paper that I should make by myself. And she freed me from the burden that I should carry today.

The third angel that I met today was a woman (another stranger) that I met in the bus at my way back home. She offered me the seat that she deserved to has and take my seat that wasn't so comfortable because I sat next to the driver. In this selfish and egoistic city, it's hard to find people that are willing to sacrifice their own comfort for the others comfort. I thanked GOD again for these blessings, though to some of you these kind of blessings are unnoticed and unimportant. But I know that somehow, somewhere, these kinds of help are very important to some people and you never know how much these helps change someone.
Coz I've been experienced them...


You never know how much a small good deed can change someone life nad even a nation's history...

A Small Seed

What is the Kingdom according to u?

Today as my day started with the devotional time, verses on the Bible suddenly seems get a new meaning for me.

Luke 13:18-21

Jesus asked, "What is the kingdom of GOD like?"

"It is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his garden. It grew and became a tree, and the birds of the air perched in its branches."

To me, a seed is my faith. Though it is small in the beginning, but I believe when GOD had planted it on the garden of a new life in HIM, no matter what happen then someday somehow if I keep my faith and ask GOD to cultivate it by HIS grace...then I believe I can be a 'tree' that brings life and blessings to many birds (I think birds are wondering souls that long for the truth).

We often think that to make miracles happen in our life we have to have a faith that is bigger than the mountains. But through this passage GOD made me realize the essential truth : No matter how big or how small is ur faith, GOD can turn ur faith into something that somehow can be blessings to others. Though u may think that ur condition is impossible and u stuck in the things that annoy u, believe and keep this truth :

the Kingdom of GOD is a small seed that GOD planted in ur heart, and somehow, someday the seed will turn into a tree that can bless others.

the hidden enemies

Today, as I went home after finished my day I rode a bus and sat in the back. First, I didn't notice that beside me sat a little girl with shabby clothes and her sister. Yes, they are street kids that probably had performed their 'show' in order to get some nickles in that bus. I looked at them. The younger sister is crying because her sister said something cruel and pinched her sometimes. I want to cheer up the little one and give something to them to stopped the quarrell, but they are so serious that I didn't dare to interupt them.

As I silently stared at them, I noticed that the older girl is kinda cruel to her sister. I knew that she might be hard and tough and not leting her sister to become spoiled because of her environment. Her tough and rude environment had turned her to became a tough and unspoiled little girl, while many little girls in her age probably still playing freely and can be spoiled to their parents. Deep inside my heart, I cried for this unjust condition. I knew that this child and her sister had rights to act like their friends in the same age. To freely play and live their life.

But again my mind think of their friends that are more lucky. I think of my students that I teach everyday. They had chances to have education, but some of them live as they didn't appreciate the chances that they have. Many people in this world lucky enough to have the life that aren't so hard and tough as these girls' life, but they didn't appreciate it. They just going around like there is no future for them, though there are so many chances that they had.

I cried for these girls. But I got angry too because the devil had worked so hard to destroy the life of many people that are bound by drugs, pornography, diseases, and poverty. It may sounds cliche, but I knew that there are the hidden enemies that disguise in poverty, drugs, pornography and diseases. And I begin to questioning myself again:

"What are you doing to stop them?"

and again :

"Will you let GOD to use your vision to destroy them?
Or you just want all the comfort only for urself?"

And I choose to let go my comfort and do something to stop them.

Little deeds like teaching well to get rid of poverty in the mind of my students.

Whiskey Bottle

Today as I sit down in the bus station waiting for a bus to pick me up to my office, I read my Bible. Hmm, it's been quite a long time since the last time I read this NIV Bible. Well, I just checked it and a verse pop out to my mind.

Mark 2:22
"No one pours new wine into old wineskins. If he does, the wine will burst the skins, and both the wine and the wineskins will be ruined. No, he pours new wine into new wineskins."

In my heart, I knew that this simple truth : You can't put all the blessings and the abundance of GOD's kingdom in your unchanged and rusty heart. The 'wine' should be placed on new vessel, that is a renewed heart.

I can't understand the true meaning of GOD's kingdom if I keep my old sinful mind. I can't get more blessings if I keep my heart the same as if I never been repented. If I want more blessings (any kind of blessings), I should look, think and act the way GOD's want me to be.

I think we can call the wineskins into whiskey bottle just like this one. I think GOD doesn't mind if I call the modern wineskins as 'whiskey bottle'.

So, are you still and old dusty whiskey tin? Or a new one?
I prefer the new one like the pic above. Shining and practical. Hehehehehee.....

what is a heart made for?

A heart is a fragile substance, it can easily be torn or cut to thousands pieces. It can be as rotten as a potato that being kept for months. But it can be cold and as hard as steel, tough and unmoveable.

Why I'm writing this down? Why I'm wasting my time to write about things that seem unimportant like this? That's because I fear my heart would into a potato heart that rotten as time swallow it. Otherwise I fear that my heart would turn into a cold and hard steel that can't feel anything.

These days I keep thinking about things that happened around me. A new environment that I entered, a career that quite different from the one that I want, things that I learned from people that I met, and...a decision to let go someone that began to enter my life because we so different in many ways. Things that I doubted whether I should cherish or regret...
They had turned my heart somehow, but will I let them make it soften or become harder? Will I find the true meaning of the things that I face? Only my heart knows the answer.

All I can say is LOVE can make a difference in my heart, but will I find my true love???

incomplete happiness...

This thought came to my mind when the first week of August passed. I am approaching the new stage of my life. Suddenly, I was faced with a new choice whether to take a chance or let it gone forever. Doubting whether this choice will make me happy or let me feel miserable forever. I finally decided it.

Happiness to me seems so blur these days. I don't know whatelse I should do or what way should I take. Just like following what happened behind me. But I felt a part of me is missing it's destiny. It seems like my happiness is incomplete for a reason.

I still wonder do I made the right choice? Or should I wait for another chance to come to me?
I don't know what to do. I just like leting myself follow where the winds carry me.
I said this prayer silently in the midst of all things going through my mind :

LORD, I know I haven't fully fulfilled my destiny.
I even don't know where this road will lead me.
But all I know is I will do whatever lies in front of me
And stop hoping for the things that still fly ahead in my vision.
Though my happiness isn't full because my soul longs to fulfill my vision,
I know that somehow, this road will lead me to it...

I know, somehow, somewhere that a missing part of myself

will find its way to happiness...