White Forest and Loneliness

It's strange how a threatening situation can made u think about death...

Yesterday, when I was on a trip back to Kefa after stayed for a night in another base in Naikliu, there's something happened and made me ever think about death.
It was a late departure from Naikliu, we supposed to leave before 9 A.M because the driver told me that the weather will become worse and the path in the mountains will be difficult to climb. But there so many things that undone by the staff in Naikliu, including the report and other things that we supposed to bring into Kefa office.
So, we went off late at 11 A.M.

First, the weather was very sunny and nice, I even took some pics while we drove off home. But then when we reached the mountains, it began to rain.

We tried to climb the hills slowly, but the rain had turned the ground into mud and soft soil, so it was hard. So, the driver stopped the car and picked up some stones to weighed down the truck. At that time we're in the middle of 'White Forest' because all the trees' trunk in that forest are white (they are Cajuputi tree that can be made into some essential oil).

While I stayed in the truck and the driver picked up the stones, a thought of death came into my mind.
How if we can't get out from this forest? How if we try and the truck accidentally rolled off and fell to the valleys? How if my parents know that their daughter accidentally killed in a truck accident in a remote place? Will my friends cry when they know that I'm dead in here?
And will he cries when he know that I was killed in an accident?

These thoughts came into my mind because at the second climb, the truck stuck in the mud again and the rain became harder. The driver told me that we should back or else stuck in the forest all night. It was a very frightening situation. We haven't got our lunch and it was getting late, soon it will be dark.
I sat silently in the truck and heard the birds singing beautifully, and the sounds of a small stream calming my mind. The rain keep pourin down and made me think about the people that I left in Jakarta. I even think about what clothes will I wear in my coffin. I felt alone and it was a bad way to die, to die alone in the middle of nowhere, I mean.

"Hey! I'm not gonna die here!" I said to myself. "What for GOD sent me from miles away just to die here? That's stupid Mel!"

But when we try again the truck is still stuck in the same track, so, we have to come down from the mountain and back to the nearest village. If we keep on moving, there's another threat, a lack of gasoline, we probably stuck in another wilderness without any gasoline.

Thank GOD, when we came to the village leader's house, they agree to help us. So two of them climbed up to the back of the truck and ride with us to the mountains. Then we spent about two hours in helping the truck to get away from holes, and soft soil. When we succeeded in overcame a track, there still so many tracks that left ahead. I finally got down from the truck and helped them dig the soil in the side road by using the shovel. Man, that was the first time I did that.

After two hours struggled in the mountains, we finally can escaped from those threats. But there so many miles left before we reached Kefa. And it was 6 P.M. We drove through the dark villages and forest, and almost stuck in another forest. After passed 35 rivers and streams, and 145 km, we finally reached Kefa. I'm so glad because we had made it back to this town.
Though it cost us 12 hours (from 10.30 A.M to 10.30 P.M), and lots of energy and many pain (my back is still in trouble now). We finally here, though I don't very much like this town, but when I see civilization, I think that's enough for me now.

And well, those thoughts of death had been wiped away from me...

The Road Less Travelled

One fine afternoon by the sea...
I sat on a rock after travelled with my friend's sister throughout the day browsing Kupang. Then she brought me to this beach. After a hard time walked on sharp rock along the beach, even the sand isn't soft, we found a big rock and decide to climb over it.
Though it's hard and so many times we both grumble because of the hard rock, we finally realize that it's worth it. We saw a very beautiful scenery above it.

Well, sometimes, we live like this too, we often grumble about the sharp rock that we had to step on when we walk along life's road. And so many times, we just want to stop and then realize that the sand where we stand isn't better either. But when we finally reach the top, our goal, purpose, etc, we always amazed about the things we found there and forget our troubles and sorrow.

Maybe these times when I felt that I am alone here, and the road that I walk is the road that less travelled by many people, especially girls. I keep in my mind that whatever will happen ahead, I know that something great and beautiful will wait for me there.

A Glass of Comfort

A glass of cold water is all that I want now....

Maybe because its been so hot in here and there is no refrigerator in my rent house and office. Or maybe because I've been missing all the comfort that I used to have in Jakarta?

Oh yeah, I know it's so different from Jakarta with all it's comfort.
In Jakarta, I can get any kind of juice that I want, any books that I want to read and a glass of cold water don't matter too much for me. Here? Even too find a glass of clean, cold and pure water with no particles dissolved in it, is very hard to do.

And one of my colleagues said to me : Remember, you have to stay here for a year ahead. Yes, it's true. I remember it so much. But everything seems run slowly here.
I've been here for a week, but it seems that it had been a year. I still can't figure it out about how I should do my job and it seems so hard to be the smallest and the youngest staff in here.
I'm alone. I'm the only 22 years old unmarried female here, while most of my colleagues are male and married. It seems like I'm a teenage with all the big-city-stuff that I used everyday (clothes, language, and style). And sometimes, I felt desolated.

But I remember a quote: "An eagle flies alone"
And that quote seems strengthening me here. I know that an eagle is a noble bird that is tough and can survive the storm. Yet, it flies alone....
I'm all alone here, alone without all the comfort zone and protection from spiritual leader in church, alone without all the things that made me comfortable in Jakarta.

But an eagle should flies alone. Coz the storm is coming my way. God, I wish that I could manage to fly, eventhough I should fly alone...
I just hope that there are people out there that pray for me, people that remember that I'm still their friends, eventhough I never contact them again because of many things...
Coz I had left my comfort nest, and my glass of comfort to fly alone in a deserted land...