One more year huh?

Gees, it's August now, and one more year ('few' more months to be exact) to stay here...and make difference....

I wish time can go faster, and probably I can see which path should I take next year...whether next year my dream to study will finally come true, or should I take another path?

And I'm wondering in times like these, when I had lost a chance to travel abroad and pursue my dreams....do I dare to dream and hope again?

I admitted that I had no other dream than to get that scholarship, after all, I'm pretty sure at that time I'm one of the best candidate to get it. I've been admitted to the best univ in Europe for food and nutrition subjects.

And I prayed to God that He might not answered my other wishes like having a really good career and high salaries, or finally found my soulmate....I'd risk all the things that I had in my life and just ask that request : to get Master degree scholarship in one of the best university in the world.

But He answered "NO", not this year probably.....

And here I am, with another year to spend in Alor, I've sign my extension for another year. But, I had another offer, a big one, that my friend offered for me months ago. That means going to another island, another provinces and bigger salary with tougher issues to work with the government. They still wait for my answer though....

To be honest, I'm confused, I'm in the intersection where I am standing and staring blankly at the roads ahead. Should I stay for another year that probably will broaden my chance to get the scholarship that requires me to stay loyal for two years in an institution?

Or should I move and get other adventures in Borneo and the job that finally pay for my mom's health expense and my apartment installments? While prob, this will limiting my chance to get

that scholarship since this is from a profit consultant company...

And is it God's answer to my ignorance to find my true love by meeting him, the one that I never think to love or even admire in the least place that I'll seek my candidate, days after I was announced to be not eligible for this year scholarship?

Yet, we're stay apart for months with very limited chance to meet. No FB, no YM, no Tweets, nothing whatsoever that can make me connected to him again. And prob, I'll just erase him after months just like I erase other men that have no further connection to me from my mind. But, again, I don't know what the future held for me and him.....